My job so far is really great! I'd go into detail but there's too much good right now.

I took today off after the bonking i did yesterday. Tomorrow is a tempo run and i can't wait! I'm fired up again! i think a job really helps structure my life which helps with training.

Did 1:55 on the bike today instead of hte planned 4 hours. It is very hot today, plus my glutes are still very weak from my hilly long run. I kept a very slow 15 mph pace, was plenty hydrated and i cramped up at about mile 20. Oh well...better luck next time. I'm also pretty burnt. I put sun block on but apparently it rubbed off my shoulders because they blistered a bit.

Congratulations Lance! Wish i could have seen the final stage, but alas, i was working.

Oh yea, i plan on posting said schedule soon along MAYBE with stats for each week.

I've posted a spreadsheet of my results since my athletic endeavor began. It's in the sidebar to the right. My plans for this section will be to make a whole new page, with pics and race reports. This will take some time though seeing how i'm working, training and sleeping right now. But you asked for it, so i put it up! I didn't go on the ride today, my glutes are screaming at me and 5 hours of sleep is just not enough for a long ride. So, instead i'm going to take it easy today, do maybe an hour on the bike real easy, 1/2 hour in the pool, then tomorrow i'll do my long ride. I've made it so i get Mondays and Wednesdays off permanantly, so i'll do my long runs on Monday and my long rides on wednesday (with Carl if i go up to gainseville!).

So i gotta rework my schedule a bit, but i think he's right: Doing a long run and ride back to back is not a good idea, having a semi-rest day in between (tuesday) will be more beneficial!

An exhausting day at work, after my tiring run this morning, but nonetheless, every dya at work confirms i made the right decision. I have total power to turn that place upside down if i need to in order to make it an efficient machine.

I gotta get to bed, i'm going to try with all my heart to get to the 8 am ride tomorrow iwth my super bike! I don't have any bars or gels though, and 3 hours is an aweful long time with just gatorade. Maybe someone will have something for me at the ride.

About last night's shift at Moe's: I feel very good about this opportunity, the manager of the store really has empowered me to change thigns up as i see fit. Every decision i made whether it was moving the glove box outo f vew of the customer, to ordering specific paper towel dispensers to fit in precarious places that are 1) out of view of the customer and 2) strategically placed so everyone has access to one so they can KEEP MY DAMNED FOOD AREA CLEAN....he's been behind me the whole way. I started to learn the menu and hit the line, but it's difficult because at Moe's every item is named after a star or catch phrase....for instance the chicken burrito is the 'Joey bag of Doughnuts'. In other words, they don't give me a clue at all as to whats in it. But that'll come in time.

As for today, i just got back from my 9 mile long run...and it was a very difficult long run.

Instead of goign tot he flat trail, i decided to run from my front door and do two loops of my tempo 4.5 mile course. This course has about 400 feet of elevation change, and most of it is in one giant hill smack int he middle. I got started late becuase i had to watch Lance fight it out with Ulrich in the time trial this morning of course. I won't say anymore then that in case you havn't seen it. So...loop one was a slow 56:26 but it was about 1:26 slower then i figured, so not too bad considering the hill. On my second loop i ran into the house, changed out my fuel belt with some cold gatorade, got a bar and drank a pre-made cup of coffee (which contributed greatly to me not bailing on this run later). I felt great, but i guess becuase of the heat or hte coffee, cardiac drift was already setting in and i couldn't keep my HR down. The first loop was awesome, spending the majority of it below 136. I looked forward to the hill on the way back (going up) to stretch my calves and give my quads some action.

2nd loop i had a hard time keeping my HR below 140. It sorta hovered 140,144. Then, as always, my watch started fritzing out telling me i was at 190, etc. so i had to keep resetting the HR part to re-evaluate. ANYWAY, i was going pretty good until about mile 7. My calves started acting up, but since iw as energized with coffee, my physical deterioration did not effect my mental stability and iw as able to work through the rough spot until my calves got numb again. On my last 2.25 miles coming back i was hurting good. I know i had slowed down considerably and my HR would not go down. OF course by now it was nearly 1:30 pm, the sun was full force out, and checking the weather when i got home, its 94 degrees. NOT really a big deal, but it was hot and i was tired.

When i got to the hill the second time, i was still looking forward to it, but i noticed i was climbing it very slowly. This hill is about 4 minutes long, at about 10 percent grade. THAT is a hill. Especially twice in a long run. Anyway made it up, my HR was soaring, couldn't get it below 150 by now, so i shut off the audible beep because it was pissing me off and if i stopped with a mile to go i'd kill myself. So i forced myself up the remaining 8-10 minute 6% elevation to the house and stopped the watch at 1:56:04.

First lap: 56:26 avg HR141
Second Lap: 59:38 Avg HR 149

OVERALL: 1:56:04
AVG HR: 145
PACE: 12:53/mile
So much for negative splitting. But i'm very happy i actually got out there, and EVEN MORE Happy that i COMPLETED a 2 lap course (i'm usually known for stopping after the first lap)

If i had done this run at 7 am like i planned i probably wouldn't have had such a hard time, but getting home at midnight from work will effect my training times. But i suppose if i look at it this way: Train in the heat so in November you'll rock, it doesn't sound so bad.

Phrase i kept repeating in my head in that final 2.25 miles of hell: "Suffer now so you don't have to in the race"

First day at work was good, i'll write more tomorrow.

I rode for 1.5 houtrs, and swam for an hour (3k). then worked. Overall a great day.

The great thing about working nights....no more night time munchies! No more icecream! OMG i might actually lose some FUCKING weight! wouldn't that be a wonder.

Mark built my campy wheel yesterday and today i got to put it on....as well as all my other campy stuff (brake shifters and rear derailler). I took it for a spin and almost had an orgasm. Everything is so smoooooooth...mmmmm. I wasn't even supposed to ride today and i ended up going out about 45 minutes. Campy rules!

Also, i got a job today too. After careful consideration i took the Shift Manager position at Moes Southwest Grille. I know i promised myself i wouldn't do it, but i start tomorrow. Lets see how it goes!

Just had a fantabulous run. 9 pm i went out in the most beautiful night of hte season, and ran 5 miles. Oh i was in heaven. Just me, my sneakers and the whole road. It was pitch black but i was acutely aware of everything around me andt he sounds of nature at work. How awesome. Did a respectable 58:48 for a recovery run. The whole time i breathed out of my nose too, no hard efforts.

A few years ago i swore off the food industry, even though i was REALLY good interacting with customers in a 'make to order' sort of environment (sandwhiches and stuff). In Florida i just had the worste experiences and it was super stressful...so i swore it off once i got the graphic design stuff going.

Well there's a place called Moe's that has fabulous mexican food, but it's not like a regular mexican restaraunt, it's pretty unique. I used to eat there like 3 times a week when i worked at colorvision and they've expanded a bit since then. Well there was a manager that worked at the one i frequented who is super cool, very boistrous personality and we melded right away as friends. A new Moe's opened up closer to where i live now in Clermont, and he's running it. I went in there today and talked with him awhile about things, and he offered me a position as night shift supervisor. He tells me that money isn't really an issue, he just wants someone that will get the job done for him correctly, because the one he has right now is very weak. he's looking to change the whole night shift staff, and put me in charge. I'm seriously considering the offer becuase it's Randy, and Randy is cool. I like the food and the establishment....why not give it a shot?

I think i'll call him tomorrow and set up a few hours to sit down with him and seriously bang this thing out.
I swam today as well, only 1200, i just wasn't feeling it today, still very sore from the weekend. But since i only biked yesterday, figured wht the hell.

Well, this weekend i helped CFT put together yet another sprint tri. I'm probably not going to do it anymore. It's just not worth it. I put in 18 hours, which isn't a whole lot, but when you figure that i BUST MY ASS the whole time without sitting down or really talking to anyone, it's draining.

I am burned.
My forearms are tweaked hard from lifting.
My back is sore from lifting
My legs are shot from walking, lifting, etc.
I hurt my left pinky toe pretty bad when jumping off the dock into the water to life guard (it was only 2 feet deep...i didn't know and hte water is dark).
I hurt in places i didn't know existed.

BUT.
On saturday night i did a half hour run with Carl, and on Sunday i was so burnt i didn't get out for my long ride. It's simply just not worth it. I learned my lesson. If anything i'll volunteer so i don't have to do the hard labor.

I have made a decision (not sure if i wrote it here yet) that after IMFL i'm going to Crit race my bike for a few years and give triathlon a break. I'll race tri's but nothing major, i'll be doing more bike racing. It just sounds like a blast.

The tour was amazing today...WATCH IT! It really inspired me to get on my bike (even though i was supposed to, it didn't really matter) but it was a great stage. Very exciting.

So i rode my new bike for about an hour, and will go swimming later. I'm really enjoying my road bike. I still have a few adjustments to make before it's fit exactly how i want it, but it's getting there.

Congratulations to Jan Ullrich who SMASHED the shit out of the time trial today, leaving lance in 2nd place for the stage, but still in hte yellow jersey by :34 seconds. I think Ullrich did exactly what lance wanted him to do: Use up all his energy to get high in the overall classification: then die in the next 4 days in the Pyrenees mountains. We have yet to see! and dont' forget Tyler Hamilton who's a great climber, he's only 2:45 back from Lance.

Had a great tempo run this morning, did the same 4.25 mile tempo route that i did last week in 55 minutes, in 48:48 today. Even though theres a HUGE uphill in the middle, coming back i only positive split by :58 seconds.

I think under 50 minutes will be my goal each week. Yesterday i got a road bike from South Lake, a Cannondale Saeco 2000 CAAD4 bike. It's pretty nice, i rode it around for a half hour and i still need to tweak it a bit. Now i have a road bike to go on group rides with. I'm working out a deal with Mark to work it off this summer.

Other then that, i missed my swim yesterday so i'm going to do it later this afternoon. Feelin good!

Had a wonderful swim...

Overall swim time: 54 minutes
Actual swim time: 48 minutes
Distance: 2500m

Not to bad, i'm happy with that. Also hit the scale and have droppeda bout two more pounds since last week. Gotta hit the bike later for about 1:30 easy ride.

Another amazing stage in the Tour, i just want to say my condolences to Beloki and his team. This man was in amazing form, and rivaling Lance for the jersey for days, keeping attacks and making sure Lance worked for it. Today Beloki crashed with 4km to go in the race and is now out of the race. Beloki was in 2nd at the time of the crash.

On another note, Lance went off road (he was behind Beloki at the time of the crash), rode DOWN a grassy hill, turned to the left and re-joined the peloton only losing 8-9 places. His cyclocross experience and MTB experience really helped him here! he was SO lucky that it was a horse shoe turn that he could regain his places by cutting hte course (accidently of course).

Beloki really added a lot of fire to this years Tour, now it's up to Ulrich to challenge him, but i don't think Ulrich is nearly as strong this year as Beloki was turning out to be.

I'm sorry Beloki. See you next year.

Wow, what an exciting stage of the Tour! Unfortunately they forced me to stay up till the wee hours of hte night becuase the live coverage was not on this morning, but it was worth it. Just exciting, i was on the edge of my seat! Go Lance!

I was having a great ride with the South Lake group...we were keeping a nice 21-23 mph on relatively flat roads. But there was a section where we had to bunny hop an inperfection in the road that stood up about 4 inches. I did'nt know it was coming and had to hastily try to hop my bike...and i mis timed it. My back wheel hit with all the force of my weight and speed, and it wasn't but another mile before it blew. I stopped with two other riders, put in another tube, pumped it up with CO2, and it blew. One of the other riders had 2 tubes on him so i did it agian, and IT blew. The third one's a charm right? I was out of CO2, so we used a hand pump. By this time i URGED everyone else (who had stopped) to not wait for me even though i was completely lost. One rider stayed with me adn we attempted to pump my tire with the hand pump. Holy suck batman. not only was it a pain in hte ass to pump, but you had to hold a hole that was in it to make air go in. it wasn't fun, and by the time i finished, i probably only had 70 psi in it, so id ecided to go home. The rider took me home and i ended up with 25 miles.

I'm going to go out a bit later, but i'm worried that if i flat again i'll have nothing to fix it with. The bike shops are closed today....sigh. I'll just stay close to home i guess. It was turning out to be a great ride though, i'm looking forward to doing it again next sunday.

1:38:12, 8 mile run this morning. Not bad, i felt pretty crappy in the beginning but felt stronger in the end as usual. I had Patrick, a pro runner from sweden who's staying here evaluate my form, he said it's right on target, very good and that when i lose the weight i want not only will i enjoy running more, but i'll have the strength to run quite a bit faster with the same effort i'm using now. He gave me some drills to do after my tuesday run just to dial in the form.

Tomorrow i'm going to South Lake Bicycles at 7:30 am to do the 45 mile ride that starts from there, then afterwards i'll add some mileage to it by ggoing around the lake a few times. After my training tomorrow i'll have completed every planned workout this week except one swim (yesterday) because i got home too late after watching LXG in the theatres. Pretty decent movie.

Did an hour on my bike really easy, and will swim later. Tomorrow is my long run...oh yeah, "N" called me last night (the girl i met at the bike shop) she's going to either ride with me on Sunday or call and make other plans. :)

I had a good 2000m workout in the pool today. I increased my stroke rate and was able to keep my pace faster without much added heart beats, it felt better to because i wasn't pushing as hard with my muscles per stroke, because i was stroking faster. Kinda like an engine, the higher the RPM's the less output each piston is producing per stroke, but it's producing each stroke 3 times faster, for an OVERALL more power output. ANyway it's a good thing and i'm going to practice it more. So, overall i did a little over 1:30 today.

I didn't get to swim last night because it started lightning out, i waited around for 45 minutes and they still weren't opening the pool so i left. I'm going to make it up today. This morning i had a good run, 4 mile tempo in 42 minutes. Felt really good and i found my motivation. I couldn't remember what kept me going during my Half IM training, but now i do: Thinking of the finishline. Towards the end of the run i was suffering a little, and i started to think about finishing the Ironman, i totally zoned out and actually went up and over a hill before i realized how close to home i was. I was day dreaming bad, and it was good! So i gotta remember that.

I went back to South Lake Bicycles last night to see if Mark needed a ride home (thought he rode in, it was still lightning out) but he was fine. What i DID find however was an extremely beautiful woman in there with her cannondale having mark service it for her. I asked him who she was (he seems to know everyone) when she walked to the front fo the store for a sec and he shrugged. So went out and started talking to her.

She's single (as far as i can tell)
She rides and runs for recreation
She's intelligent, successful and beautiful

Can't ask for much more then that...except her number, which i got.

Just call me Rico Suave.

Anyway i'm going to call her tonight and see if she wants to ride tomorrow morning. We'll go from there. Teehehe

Had a great ride this morning. 25 miles in 1:24...a tempo ride with 2 mile warmup and 3 mile cool down. My bike is running really good now that i've rebuilt it, Eric was drafting off me and said that my hips are swaying too much that i should lower my seat. I may ride to south lake today and have Mark check it out.

After about 30 minutes of painful tempo riding, my legs went numb...i almost forgot about this feeling. THey go numb and the burn goes away so ic an push the pace faster without dealing with the agony of lactic burn. It was great, my last half was a few miles per hour faster then my first.

Gotta swim later, but this week is turning out to be a good one.

What a great run! A storm was rolling in and the temp dropped about 10 degrees. I ran out for my 5 mile run and did it in 5:24 faster then last week. It felt great, and i'm psyched!

I would like to urge everyone to click on the "leave a message after the beep" link after this post and go click the 'book' (history) icon and read everything that Anonymous said. Read it, digest it and post what you feel about it. I'd like to know how many of my readers think i'm pathetic and not a triathlete.

Swam :30 today and rode for an hour. I wasn't going to ride but Erik elegantly reminded me of how much of a pussy i'd be if i didn't ride. Anyway the ride and swim was good, my traps are very sore from 3 hours of aero position. Gotta work my way up to 7 hours. Blech.

Overall a decent day though.

By the way, the last few days, and for the rest of the week the temperature has been in the low ninties. Yea. it's hot.

There's definitely a missing link in my life. A big one. Its as if i'm not even close to the same person i was 3-4 years ago. I knwo i've grown, i've become wiser, but it also seems as if i've grown more and more emotionaly detached from the world. I suppose after all the emotional pain i went through as a child, my subconscious came up with the perfect plan to make sure nothing ever hurts me ever again: Become cold, attach to nothing. It actually bothers me that after a 2 year relationship, i ended it and that was it. I wasn't sad about it at all, inside me was just a void where 2 years of built relationship once stood. It was totally nuked.

I just got done watching American Beauty for the 4th time. It's a movie that everyone should see at least once...for me, i watch it each time i think i'm so far off track that i can't see where i originated from. The movie has helped me in the past:

The first time i saw it, i broke up with my girlfriend, which was the best move of my life.

The second time i saw it, i almost convinced Josh to divorce Kelly (he watched it with me)

The third time i saw it was just watching it because it was good.

Each time i watched it, i felt an emotional attachment to the characters, to the story. Each time i teared up in the end, and that's how i knew that the movie was doing it's job. This time...this time i so wanted to feel that feeling again, but it just didn't come.

Usually watching the bag do its freedom dance moves me quite a bit. This time it seemed like i had some defenses that just bounced the meaning of the whole thing right back at the movie.

I'm quite disturbed by this. I think if the movie was 2 hours longer, i eventually would have broken down and gotten to the core of the problem. I used to be so proud of my emotional defenses, i was about as vulnerable as a Shermin tank. I am that way now, but i don't like it. I hate it. I want to be hurt. I want to be sad. Because you can't have true happiness without those two things. I want to feel PASSIONATE about something, something i will stand up for and raise my fist!

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO ME?

When i was in college i stood for something: Sex. I wasn't getting it so i talked about it constantly. I was a vulgar, sexually frustrated furnace of arrogance and hate. I was an emotional wind tunnel waiting to pounce on anyone that thought differently then i did. I'm not too proud of that, but the CORE of it all, the raw power...where did that go? I don't want to lose the luster in the iris of my eye. I don't want to be the guy who's moved by nothing...

I constantly make jokes because i have a need to laugh. But i havn't laughed hard...i mean "I can't fuckin breathe and my face is turning purple, god my abs hurt" laugh in a long time. That used to be common occurance.

Females: girls make me feel vulnerable. Most of the time that pisses me off...but when i find someone i trust. someone that i think can take a part of me and not take advantage of it; well then i feel vulnerable but happy because of it. i feel like i can open a dusty door to a part of me that's been lying dormant for too long.

So is a relationship the key to my true happiness? Am i just half a man until i find someone who can fit the hole inside me?

I havn't felt stirred up about anything in a long time. Maybe i need to throw myself into a little turmoil...or maybe i need to become an emotionless scientist.

I've turned myself into something i don't like. Maybe i should go downtown and pick the biggest guy i can and hit him so he'll kick my ass. Give me something to worry about.

I also think everyone should spend one day in jail, mandatory. Sometime in their mid to late twenties, especially after they've made some sucess in their lives. After i spent a day in jail last year i've never valued my freedom more. someone asked on web boards what you value the most. Most people said family, some said triathlon. I said freedom. Soemthing we all take for granted. But when you're in a cement cell with 12 deuchebags from the street, and you can't come or go or eat unless someone else says so...you can't understand.

I think that's all i really want: someone to share things with. Someone that i respect because of their intelligence and drive and goals, something that is very difficult to raise to. I want to give my heart to someone and not know if they'r egoing to crush it or soothe it. I need to take some risks. Thats something that i always did, though it usually got me 2 steps forward and 3 steps back, i was very alive. Maybe i will move to Canada, that'd be a hell of a risk. Go homeless for awhile.

I dunno.

I had an excellent ride today. I got burnt pretty bad and ended up cutting it about 10 miles short because of it, but i rode from here out to the trail, met up with an older guy, rode with him the whole length of the trail and back, then rode the lasts 10 by myself..I felt good the whole time. It was extremely hot out today but i dealt pretty well with it. Ended up with 46 miles in 2:52. Overall my weekly volume is down, but i was also sick so i had to take a day off, and also took the 4th off. So i'm getting fired up for next week...i found out that coffee just before a workout is SO KEY! Keeps me positive throughout the workout and energized. Definitely not missing my coffee from now on.

I had a terrible long run today. i wanted 8 miles, but i only went 7 and i only should have gone 5. I just couldn't keep my HR down! I don't know what was wrong, but i did end up with 7 total miles at a blistering 14:12 per mile pace. I walked the last mile entirely. It was very humid and hot, but that usually doesn't bother me. Was just tired. Going long ont he bike tomorrow.

Screw holidays...while all my friends go home to celebrate, i sit here and type in my blog. Oh well, i have been motivated to write my screenplay so i'll write it.

I did end up sleeping, and when i got up i got a call from "J". I figured something was amiss because she didn't call me yesterday. Turns out she's having some difficulty with her family and we won't be able to hang out today. Sucks, but family is definitely #1 priority, so i'll have to get over it. On the bright side she works tomorrow and i'll at least get to see her then!

I ran for an hour today, felt awesome! I think i'll spend my day at South Lake finishing up the work i was supposed to do yesterday.

it's 10pm, i'm feeling great, but since i slept all day, i won't be able to sleep probably. :( oh well.

i was a giant turd today. I had three shirts on, two sweatpants and a blanket, and all day just sweated my ass off in bed. THe fever finally broke a little while ago, so now at least i can open my eyes adn move around without being in pain. I'll be ok before tomorrow, it's how ti is with me, sick horrifically for about 10-12 hours then fine. can't wait till tomorrow. Obviously no workouts today, and probably not tomorrow either. if i'm up to it i'll swim tomorrow.

I feel like a giant turd today. I went to bed at 11pm last night and woke up at 11 am, 12 hours of sleep. I'm achy, i feel like crap. Must be coming down with something. But i better get over it cause i'm gonna see 'J" tomorrow! yay! heheh. No training today because of how crappy i feel, but i'm going into South Lake bicycles to build some bikes.

my 5k race: Sucked. It only ended up being 2 miles because i ran out way too hard. I train at like 11 minute pace, my first mile today was 8:13, then 8:23, then i was wiped. It was impossibly humid and hot today which im sure helped me quit early. Oh well, still ended up with 4 miles in 46 minutes.