man am i beat! Spent from 5:30 this morning at the race site luggin stuff around, in the rain of course. I biked yesterday for 2 hours...i'm really tired so i'll type mor elater.

i will say however that i miss talking to "J" and i hope she calls me when she gets back from vacation.

So this 10 year old kid and a bunch of his friends were swimming in a river near by, and they kept running out of the river, laughing, then getting back in. Why were they running outo f the river? Cause there were gators in the river and when the gators would get close, they'd laugh adn run away. One of them got eaten...Darwin Awards at it's finest.

SO what does the animal control do? Hunt down and kill SEVEN gators, then take them back to compare teeth marks to the left overs of the kid. WTF? Poor gators.

I'm taking tomorrow off from my work at CFT. My hands are destroyed, cut, bruised, fingers mangled and i have two nice holes in the top of my foot where i dropped some wire cutters. It's also been pouring rain since thursday so it's been miserable. I'll go on race day and see what needs done. Tomorrow i hope to get a ride in but it's going to be raining so it'll suck.

This article describes EXACTLY how i feel when i go on my once every couple year visits. Thanks Jeff for the link.

Yesterday i swam about 1km, my back and shoulders are really sore from lifting so i didn't push it much. I did however, find that i wasn't extending my arm 'over the barrel' and started doing that on the last 200. It was nice because instead of just my back, i was feeling my pecks lock into the pull too. So i'll haev to make sure i keep doing that, thats the proper way to swim afterall. I tihnk i've almost got the whole stroke down.

I went for a ride in the rain yesterday and found out why i was getting holes in my shorts. My stupid seat was so thin it was allowing my thigh to rub against the seatpost bolt, which was making holes. GAH! a new pair of 60 dollar shorts, i have a hole in them. I went to South Lake Bicycles and traded outm y seat for another one real quick and rode the rest of hte way on that one. That one felt good, but it's blue and i was annoyed so it didn't matter.

I'm going to work for CFT as a laborer from today till Sunday, and also i'm going to be working at South Lake Bicycles for free for awhile and maybe "M" will hire me in the interum.

Off to work.

Oh yeah, "J" never called me back after she took her brother to the hospital for his ankle, and she didn't call me yesterday either. I hope things are ok, i took a gamble and called her back at the last number she called me at but no one answered. I"m afraid now i'm not going to get to talk to her until next week sometime because i think she's left for vacation. :( at least i'm keeping busy tho.

I lifted and rode an hour today. I feel great. I'm tired too.

Something i forgot to mention yesterday, i got my first flat? I take my turns very aggresively on my bike, and when i felt the bike sliding out from under me i knew there was a problem, i righted myself (i didn't fall) and looked down and my front tire was losing air. So i stopped on the side of the road, and proceeded to change it. Even though i was taking my time and checking for a cut in my tire and what not, it only took me 10 minutes. It was an experience.

Today i ran 3 miles, lifted, and doing an hour ride later i think. I was supposed to see "J" today, but she had to take her brother to the hospital because he hurt his ankle real bad. Maybe we can get together later today or tomorrow.

I did an hour on the bike today, with plans of doing another hour with Julia and Eric at 6. It started pouring at 5:30 so we scrapped the second ride. I've been putting together a plan with Eric, and he's also been helping me fight my food urges. I think after a few weeks of eating good i'll be ok. I did however sneak an icecream sandwich! aaaaahh!

Ok, with the help of a good friend "A", i've been shown how to archive my stuff. Unfortunately i messed up the code in my html so i only have 2 days from may and no april archives at all :( It's a huge mess, so i'll start archiving by the month starting this month. Going for an hour ride.

I've added a new link to another page i'll be working on. It's called INSPIRATION and it's in the links above this text. Check it out, it's going to be a collection of pics i've scrapped of the internet with an added word. I'm about to give up on archives. If you want to take a look at my html i can email it to you so you can fix it. I'd really like my archives to be to the left of this text, under my picture. If you can help, email me.

Rode this morning next to Eric for a little over an hour. Not exactly an aerobic workout but it got me out at 6 am. Then i proceeded to do squat the rest of the day. Oh well, there's always tomorrow.

Talked iwth J today. SHe liked some of the writing i gave her, havn't gotten to discuss any of it with her though. I'd like to know which part of which ones she liked. She's going on vacation next week with her family, and i'm hoping she is able to work some things out in a comfortable supportive environment. I'm working for CFT all that week putting on one of the sprint tri's as a laborer. Make some cash!

Decided to go for a run this morning after buying Mizuno Wave Rider VI sneakers. They feel good, i ran for 20 minutes and felt a tinge in my hip still, i took it real slow and easy though. Was good to get out. Later today i'll ride the whole trail, probably 1:45 or 2 hours. Yesterday i swam 600m, and meant to ride but it poured.

Today i'm going to have lunch with "J" and then take her over either to the lake or the nature preserve where we can chat and what not. Looking forward to it.

God i hate it when this happens. I go to bed, peacefully...tired from training. And i wake up an hour later, completely re-energized. Now i gotta take sleeping pills to get back to sleep because i've been tossing and turning for an hour now. :(

Rode with Eric and Julia today for about 1:45. Was a good ride. My ass is killing me from this new position since i got re-fit., i may have to get another seat.

Yesterday i rode for 1:30! finally! Today my neck is killing me and so is my pachoch, but hey, i'll get used to it again. why 1:30 and not 2 hours? cause i felt like it..and it was raining at the end of the ride.

It felt great though, and i'm going to ride again today. I gotta put together a plan in a spreadsheet tonight if i have time. Dave dropped my rent to $300/month. He's such a nice fellow.

Today id idn't do shit either. But tonight i'm going to break out "Plans for Multisport Athletes" Kickon a spreadsheet and go to town. I have 22 weeks, i have lots of people i'll let down if i don't get my ass in gear, and i need to do this ironman...for me. i NEED this ironman. The plan: Cycle 2 hours a day in an effort to lose weight in the first 6 weeks. I plan on dropping my swimming all together for awhile because i'm very happy where i am swimming - wise, and my shoulder hurts more every stroke i take. My nerve problem is coming back and id on't have insurance to go o the doc and get it checked out. I'm fully confident i could swim a 2.4 right now no problem, in choppy sea water. I will start running again as soon as i get new sneakers. The ones i have are so old my hip is hurting and they are giving me blisters. On second thought, i'll do 2 short runs and keep a long run going, but cycling will be my main focus. It doesn't tear on my body and i can stick with it for 2 hours a day easy, and drop this extra weight. Once i drop the weight my running will come easier. I'll start swimming 8 weeks out to make sure my form is still good. It's the only thing i can think of right now. I NEED TO DROP THIS WEIGHT: Goal: 2 pounds a week for 15 weeks. Thats 30 pounds. I gotta get my nurtition strategy going again too.

Yesterday was my bday, the big 24...iw asn't able to go out with the person i had planned; so i went to Jeffs work and played games till late at night, watched About Schmidt (ok Movie) and then went home at 4 am. I got pulled over for having an expired tag (expired 4 hours previous) but the cop was cool, just told me to get a new tag. Tonight i'm supposed to go out with Michelle and a bunch of friends for dinner, hoping it will be a great time. STill no training yet. Not sure when i'm going to start up again, soon i hope.

I'm trying tog et my archives back up but having a hard time doing it. If anyone wants to help me out, i'll send you my code and you can slip it in. I want it on the left side here where there isn't anything. I can deal with the right side ok. Just send me an email, its up there in the menu bar.

Didn't do the ride, didn't do anything. I have to do something tomorrow. anything.

i think i need to go for a ride tomorrow..a long...long ride.

While on the plane home from Texas, i picked up Outdoor magazine and there was an article in there about Lance Armstrong. I've read his book and hesitated to pick it up because i know quite a bit about his life, but this had some new material in it, and so i bought it and took it on the plane. It described how he has such a passion, obsession for cycling, that he surrounds himself carefully with people who are only 100% supportive, food and items that will affect his cycling in a positive way. He literally eats and breaths and lives cycling.

I want to have passion for something like he does, like William Wallace did, i want to burn to do something. Sure i've burned to do something, and i usually attain it in a relatively short amount of time then the burning goes away to be replaced by cold ashes. I want to burn for something for the rest of my life. I want to yearn for something or someone so much that i'd give up my whole existence for it/them. Is that so much to ask?

Motivation was so much easier to come by when i was pissed off at the world, anger is the most volitle form of motivation, and it's really effective. But its not healthy either, it's empty. I'm going to use these next few weeks to get re-aqcuainted with training again. See what happens.